There is almost a
religious belief on the wingnet that some day, man made climate change (AGW)
will be disproved as a Hoax. The Most Hardcore of Right Wingers believe this.
These people, who should be locked up in FEMA run camps, represent Phase I of
Climate Denial.
There is however a
fringe of the right wing that has moved past Phase I and are willing to admit
that green house gas emission play
some role
in climate change but not much as the scientists say. This position represents
Phase II of Climate Denial. The other day
the
Powerline Scholar found a webcast by
some professor in Australia representing the Phase II crowd.
[paraphrasing -
because my version is better and shorter] In my opinion, hrumph, greenhouse gasses don't
drive climate change, hrumph. Rather than what "Cult Science" tells
us, sometimes shit just gets hotter. Hrumph.
So its just his opinion as you can see from my excellent translation of wingnutspeak into english.
You see, changing the composition of the atmosphere by turning solid or liquid forms of carbon stored
under the earth for 100,000 of years into gas over a relatively short period of time, might cause some warming but it
is not the key. Sometimes shit just happens. The problem with this is that I also have opinions. People on the wingnet
have opinions. Everyone has them, but this guy is a professor so Phase II right
wingers can keep hope alive.
But this is how the
game is played. If AGW can be
demonstrated by a simple equation like 1+2=3, its best just to ignore the
equation instead of trying to prove that 1+2=something entirely different. Instead you talk about your feelings. I hate
math and the number 3. So I won't have anything to do with it. Seriously, 3 sucks. Or you could say that Liberals are
mean. Or Carbon, smarbon, what about clouds? Has anyone studied the possibility of an Alien Heat Ray blasting Earth from one of the moons of Jupiter. And so it goes.
Here are the phases
of climate denial:
Stage I - It’s all a Hoax! Anthropogenic Global
Warming is a goddamn conspiracy, Man. Quick put on your tin-foil hat before the
Government starts reading your brain waves!
Stage II -
Yes there is some warming going on but people are not 100% responsible.
The Climate changes all the time. Don't listen to Algore, the Climateers , the
Warmists, the Liberal Scientists and the Media because the Wingnuts know
something they have all missed.
Seriously, the Wingnuts have figured something out that the smart people
couldn't do.
Stage III-AGW
is real but it is not bad. We can adapt to small increases in
temperature. Japan can deal with
disaster (Fukushima) better than Haiti (Earthquake) because it is resilient while
Haiti is not. Therefore fewer people in Japan die when there is a disaster. We can be resilient and deal with disaster, too. How will other countries fare? Maybe not so good but I got mine.
Stage IV - AGW
is real and may be super bad but
there is nothing we can do about it. However if there was something that could
be done, it would result in the Environmentalists will enslaving us, taking
away our guns, and making us live in hobbit-sized homes in designated human
habitation zones with only turnips and tofu to eat. Oh, and there would also be
a UN guard in front of every freakishly small hobbit sized home.
Stage V - It is real. It is Super Duper Bad. We
could have done something about it but unfortunately, because Climate
Scientists and Liberals were so mean and condescending with their science,
theories and facts and hurt our feelings so much, it is too late to do anything
now. We shouldn't think about it anymore. But we should increase the defense budget to prepare for the coming
resource wars.