Friday, June 18, 2010

UPDATED: This Post is Brought to You, in part, by Anadarko Petroleum

Yesterday’s Joe Barton fiasco got me to thinking about a campaign finance reform idea that I’ve had for some time now. My campaign finance reform proposal would center on disclosure. I think folks should know who is paying the bills for our politicians. I know you can use the internets to look this information up. But I think, I have a better way to supplement public disclosure.

As long as public financing of election is not possible, my reform proposal would go like this:

  • Candidates for Federal Office should be required to dress like NASCAR drivers with patches and logos of their contributors displayed prominently on their clothing in proportion to the respective contribution of each donor. The largest donor would get the largest logo. This donor would be referred to as a “Sponsor.”

  • While in committee or on the house or senate floor each politician would also have to wear a ball cap with the logos of their three largest Sponsors prominently displayed. Smaller sponsors would get more discreet logos.

  • Before speeches, the Politician would also have to state before the Speech that this Message is Brought to You by his Sponsors. For example Congressman X would be required to state that his speech is brought to you in part by SleezeCo – ripping people off since 1907 and ShitMart – selling you cheap crap from china that you really don’t need while passing their employees health care cost on to the public, The Corn Lobby because high fructose corn syrup belongs in everything, no really it does and by Big Oil - keeping you addicted so their profits skyrocket.

This proposed law would have come in handy yesterday when wingnut Congressman Joe Barton (R-TX) made an apology to BP for the American response to the Oil Spill. Barton’s outrage centers on the $20 Billion relief fund that BP is setting up to pay working folks and businesses for the harm they’ve suffered due to BP’s reckless behavior.

"I'm ashamed of what happened in the White House yesterday," Barton said. "I think it is a tragedy of the first proportion that a private corporation can be subjected to what I would characterize as a shakedown, in this case a $20 billion shakedown." Talking directly to Hayward, Barton added, "I apologize. I do not want to live in a country where any time a citizen or a corporation does something that is legitimately wrong, is subject to some sort of political pressure that is, again, in my words, amounts to a shakedown. So I apologize."

You see if my proposal had been enacted into law, Congressman Barton would have been wearing a Ball Cap with a prominent logo front and center because Congressman Barton’s biggest Sponsor is Gulf of Mexico Deep water Oil Driller Anadarko Petroleum.

Its corporate logo (pictured - right) is an OIL WELL! It would have made much better viewing. Watch and picture Barton dressed in an Anadarko Petroleum Blue jumpsuit with a Oil Well logo on his ballcap. We'd know where he was coming from if this logo was on his forehead.

*This would be especially so when word gets out that Anadarko may be responsible for 25% of the clean up of the biggest environmental disaster in US History!

Heckuva Job Joe!

[video]

Tip: when watching, imagine Oil Well Logo on Joe Barton's Head.

UPDATED: Word on the Internets has it that Anadarko Petroleum owns 25% of the Collasped Deepwater Oil Rig.

*Last sentence of post above added for Joe-larity.

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Stay the Course

Stay the Course
He's Probably got the hang of it by now. So give'em another chance. And with the Supreme Court and the good Lord on his side, why not give it a try. Write in Bush.