An Open Letter to Zach Wamp

I have some questions for Zach Wamp (R-TN) who is running to be the President and/or Governor of Tennessee.

Recently Zach threatened to secede from the Union if elected as President/Governor over the issue of health insurance reform. I don’t think Zach has fully thought this one out however, so I thought I’d help him out some. Here goes:

July 28, 2010



The Honorable Zach Wamp

Wamp for Governor/President
P.O.Box 23748
Chattanooga, TN 37422

RE: Secession from the United States of America

Hey Zach,

I hear you recently threatened to withdraw Tennessee from the United States of America over the issue of health insurance reform. Whoa, hardcore man. But I am not sure you thought this out very clearly. You know, it might not be such a good idea. For instance, did you know did you know that a survey error in the 1800s mistakenly set the Georgia – Tennessee Line further south than it should have legally been defined?

You probably didn't, right? Well, it is true. Actually parts of Chattanooga, TN are located in what should be the State of Georgia. Which is still in the USA.

After you secede from the Union and become the President of Tennessee, what is gonna stop the good old USA, the Union Army and the State of Georgia from moving the border back up to where it should be located and RE-claiming Chattanooga? And since you are from Chattanooga, wouldn’t that disqualify you from being the President of Tennessee? Something to think about Zach.

You have to think that someone from Chattanooga, Georgia couldn't be the President of Tennessee, could he? I'd think that the President of Tennessee would have to be a natural born citizen of Tennessee and not some carpetbagger from Georgia. How is your administration going to address the hoards of “BIRTHERS” shouting “Show us your Birth Certificate” every time your Presidential motorcade passes by?

And just what is going to stop the USA from extraditing you from Tennessee and bringing you back into the USA as a US citizen from Georgia to face charges for treason? Have you thought about that one, Zach?

I don’t know, Zach. Maybe secession ain’t such a good idea. Might want to think about it some more. Just my opinion anyway.

Your Friend,

/s/

Howard

I don't know if it'll work, but it is worth a shot (bad choice of words with secession talk, I know).

WARNING: Satire May be Present.