Monday, June 13, 2011

Young Conor Ponders Climate Change and Asks

Why do Republicans engage in crazy talk over Global Warming?

Set aside the merits of the issue - let's just talk politics. Which of these arguments is going to appeal to the biggest anti-carbon-tax, anti-cap-and-trade alliance? And which would prove least popular:

1) Climate change may be happening - we may even be causing it. But even if that's true, now isn't the right time to address it. Now is the time to focus on jobs.

2) Climate change may be happening - we may even be causing it. But a cold, rational look at a carbon tax or cap-and-trade show that the substantial costs either would impose on our economy outweigh the benefits. We're better off trying to solve the problem by investing in new technology.

3) Climate change may be happening, but we aren't causing it.

4) Climate change isn't happening, and the people who say otherwise are mistaken.

5) Climate change isn't happening, and the people who say otherwise are engaged in a widespread ideological conspiracy - they know it isn't happening, but are pretend otherwise so that they can control your lives.

You know what answers will be on display tonight as the GOPsters gather for tonight’s debate. I am guessing a mash of 3's and 4's with only Romney admitting that anthropogenic global warming is going on. Of course all the craziest Coolest wingers are down with Answer 5. It’s all a conspiracy to them, Man. I’m talking extra bat shit partisans like Congressman Smokey Joe Barton and Powerline Blogger John Hinderaker. Blogger Hinderaker once called George Bush a Genius and Meant It. You know he's hardcore.

I wonder if any of the candidates will walk up to the edge tonight and go full metal wingnut by endorsing answer 5. I want one of them to start talking international conspiracy the likes of which mankind has never beheld. How about Ron Paul?

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Stay the Course

Stay the Course
He's Probably got the hang of it by now. So give'em another chance. And with the Supreme Court and the good Lord on his side, why not give it a try. Write in Bush.